Monday, April 19, 2010

Learning To Suck It Up & Move On

I don't think I ever gave racing parents enough credit when I first started out-I remember always wondering how they could race at a high level but figuring they must have nanny's or amazing overworked spouses. I know I thought it must be a juggling act, but I never realized how much. The minute I realized I was pregnant I gave up swimming and mostly just ran ran ran to my hearts content. It had been a long time since I didn't have to get in 2 or 3 workouts a day and could do whatever I wanted. One of my triathlete friends was also pregnant at the time and didn't take her time off as seriously as I did so when I turned to her 10 miles into a bike ride and said I had heartburn from the 3 hotdogs I'd eaten before we took off she looked at me like I had 2 heads, but without a race in sight and an alien having taken over my body I didn't see any reason to push it. This was the first time I had to learn to suck up my natural instinct to be aggressive and worry about what my competitors were doing and just enjoy moving as much as possible. I was hesitant to get back into triathlon at a high level because I knew how hard it was to reach my training and racing goals when all I had to worry about was one dog, how could I do it with a baby, a husband, a track team and two dogs? More often than not life gets in the way of the plans we make to achieve our goals. That's why I started back with marathoning, because it was uncharted territory so I wouldn't constantly compare to what I had done 5 or 6 or 8 years ago and it also wouldn't take away as much time from the family as triathlon. While the marathon year was fun and everything, lining up next 95 pounders floating through 6 minute mile after 6 minute mile was discouraging and tore my legs up like nothing I have ever done!

When I had sorted a few things out in my personal life and almost gotten over the sciatic nerve injury from 2 marathons in 7 weeks it was time to get my ass back on bike and experiment. Knowing that training and racing time wouldn't come as easy as they did in my 20's last years was an experimental year-I would train as much as I could and do a few half ironmans and see what happened. I didn't really follow a schedule and things went pretty well, so this year I've been getting guidance and key workouts from Martha Grinnell, the woman who taught me how to be a triathlete at 22, trying to complete what I can, and getting in as many hours I can. Between my family and friends and Kevin on Ruby duty I had been getting in enough to stay sane and feel ok about the prospect of racing pro this season. Ruby and I spent much of spring break with my sisters who were more than happy to send me out on runs and rides or take field trips to their local pools. I felt really good about getting my first bigger week in and saved Friday and Saturday for my long run and ride, we kicked off Friday with a trip to Whiteface and I immediately got a pit in my gut that the training plans for the weekend were heading out the window. Needless to say, instead of getting 6 hours of training in over those 2 days I got in 1 crazed 1 hour run followed by a rather dramatic meltdown because I was certain I couldn't race at the level I want to if I can't train at the level I want to. My support team responded quickly and despite trying to dig my heals in about how impossible it all was they convinced me that sometimes we just have to suck it up and move on. Extract the awesome parts, be grateful for them and just do our best. Martha, besides being a great coach, is an even better psychiatrist and always has the perfect words of wisdom and encouragement to help me put things into perspective. This time was no different and with a lot of help from Ruby, Kevin, and our wonderful daycare provider, Kelli, I cowboyed up and had my best week of training in 7 or 8 years! Suck it up and move on, suck it up and move on:)

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